Sunday, September 25, 2005

Chuck's Top 30 - College Football

1. USC
2. LSU
3. Florida
4. Virginia Tech
5. Texas
6. Ohio State
7. Florida State
8. Miami
9. Michigan State
10. Wisconsin
11. Georgia
12. Notre Dame
13. Virginia
14. Tennessee
15. California
16. BC
17. Michigan
18. Texas Tech
19. Arizona State
20. Georgia Tech
21. UCLA
22. Texas A&M
23. Louisville
24. Clemson
25. Auburn
26. Alabama
27. WVU
28. Minnesota
29. Oregon
30. Iowa

Friday, September 23, 2005

Of course I'm great...

  • "You called it. You absolutely called it. Raffy points the finger at Tejada. I tip my cap to a man who is obviously light years above me and the rest of the peasant blogosphere."

~The words of the one and only Chris Richardson. Your $7 is in the mail.

Anytime unnecessary praise is heaped upon me, I will take time out of my schedule to let the world know about it.
In my August 17 post, I listed a number of worthy candidates to soon be associated with steroids and/or Rafael Palmeiro. Poor Miguel Tejeda was in the mix, and yesterday, it leaked out that Palmeiro did, in fact, name Miggy during his defense.

Now, what does this mean? Well, really nothing. There is ZERO talk about steroids in this, and Palmeiro seems to be a kid who got in trouble and immediately blames a neighborhood pal. The "vitamin" exchanged is harmless and legal - so I really can't figure out what the big fuss is about. Right now, it seems as if the only news in this situation is that Rafael ratted on Miguel. Crazy kids.

But kudos for me for guessing correctly. That makes me a genius or something.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

The 2-Minute Drill...

Lots to talk about, so little time.

*Okay, so I was wrong about Pitt. I wasn't wrong that Wanny sucks, but I was wrong that Pitt would be Notre Dame. I bet Drew that I would eat a ladle full of mayonnaise if Pitt lost. A three-touchdown deficit later, I'm staring down the jar of a fattening condiment once again.

In retrospect, it seems that mayonnaise has the power to turn anything I say the opposite way. Just mix some Gwaltney, Southern Cal and a touch of mayo...and bam! The No. 14 is wearing Gold and Blue for eternity. Add a first-year head coach and a tumbling football program on the road? Not scary, eh? Well, combined with mayonnaise, and the Irish find six touchdowns and an easy win against a supposed Big East favorite.

So, I figure that I will bet the following. Let's aim high, and at the impossible.

-If I have a threesome in the next six months, I will eat a jar of mayonnaise.

-I will eat a jar of mayonnaise if the Redskins make the playoffs.

-I will eat a jar of mayonnaise if someone actually pays me six figures to teach.

-I will eat a jar of mayonnaise if David Lamm turns out to be straight.

-I will eat a jar of mayonnaise if Ashton Kutcher becomes tolerable.

-I will eat a jar of mayonnaise if "W" turns out to be even a decent president after six years in office. Ha, don't have to worry about Hellman's here.


*Speaking of Bush, did anyone catch Kanye West's rant on national television? Live, no less? It's one for the highlight reels. Check it out here. West blasts Bush for dragging his feet on aid because a majority of the victims in New Orleans were black. Get 'em, Kanye.

*So the College GameDay crew now consists of the regulars of Chris Fowler, Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso. And the man doing the dirty work each week, finding that all-important scoop that non of the other thousand starving and aspiring journalists can find? Nick Fucking Lachey. Seriously.

Is there anyone out there with less talent that has somehow "achieved" more than Nick Lachey, and not deserved one bit of it? Okay, besides Ashton.

*By the way, I still think Trev Alberts is a douche.

*I saw 40-year Old Virgin on Saturday evening, and I must say, it is one of the best comedies I've seen in quite some time. It's brilliant. It really isn't cut from the mold of Van Wilder, Deuce Bigalow or Freddy Got Fingered. This is an instant comedy classic, like Dumb & Dumber, Billy Madison or Happy Gilmore. The entire lot of characters is superb, and it's not-stop laughs from beginning to end. I highly recommend this movie. Go see it. Now. Go. Stop reading. Please. It's worth it. And get Milk Duds.